Well, things have changed a LOT in the year since I posted last. I will update later tonight or tomorrow.
I’ve been to the doctor today. Trying to find a new primary physician. He is sending me for an MRI on my spine and another mammogram. He seemed attentive enough.
I talked to my hubby and told him I want him to re-meet my friend and I was completely honest with him. I am glad I was. It’s all going to work out well. I was just worried that my hubby would be jealous, but like he said, how can he be jealous of someone who is 6 hours away???!
What do you do when your very first love comes around again? We are friends. We have been since we were children. My parents loved him. His parents loved me. I don’t want to change my marriage at all. But what do you do when that love comes back into your life? How do you explain it to your hubby? or wife? whatever the case may be. Oh, gee, Hunny…. Ummm… here is my first true love and I want us all to be friends and hang out and drink beer and watch the NASCAR races? I love my husband. He is wonderful to me. He still makes my heart do flips. He is a strong and good man. He is handsome, too! But would this hurt him if I wanted to be “Sunday afternoon supper” friends again with someone from my past? Hubby and I have been married for 17 years. There is no way things are going to change. But I also don’t want any ill feelings. . It’ll all work out in the end. It always does. 
How do you write a letter to a girl you have such strong connections to but whom you don’t know?
Poor Emilee. She is in such pain and I feel so bad for her. She is on antibiotics and pain meds. Her MRI showed ACL tear and Medial Meniscus tear. So the doc got in there and saw neither. But the MRI showed them. He showed us the MRI. He did find a “roughening of the lateral meniscus” but all bones were smooth as could be. Poor Emilee is in all this pain all the time and there is nothing wrong with her knees.
That being said I wonder about her brain and being told there is nothing wrong. Been there. Heard that. For MANY years. I was finally diagnosed and treated and though still in pain to some degree, am still afraid to go to doctors and be told I am fine.
We go see the doctor on Tuesday AM.
I am so unbelievably tired of pain. I used to be an optimist. I could always see a silver lining. I could always joke and laugh but now am in so much pain I can do neither. My back hurts. Bladder pain is almost unbearable today. It’s my turn for dishes and I hurt and don’t want to move. I stand up and my back spasms. Sucks, because I have to stand up and go to pee all the damn time. It is a vicious cycle. It’s cold today and I started a fire in the fireplace. Ok, so I tried but hurt too bad to continue so my son did it for me. How horrible that my son is better at building a fire in the fireplace than I am. He’s such a good boy. Emilee is out babysitting. She’s coming home later with her boyfriend. He’s nice. I think I like him. He’s so tall and gangly though. But, my dog is starting to like him. So he’s ok. If Bingo didn’t start to like him then Devin would have to go. LOL. Justin has a buddy over spending the night tonight. OK, a cousin, but they are great friends. I have pain meds at Walgreen’s to pick up and might get to do it today. I don’t know yet. Have to see how much $ hubby has when he gets home.
So I decided to look at the supplemental insurance this year to go with my Medicare.
I am on Social Security Disability and have been for 4 years.
I have had Medicare for 2 years. I do not qualify for Medicaid.
I logged onto www.medicare.gov and found that I have 35 potential matches to my needs.
I had narrowed it down to 11 matches. I called the companies.
Turns out that it’s actually 5 companies with all those different plans I am interested in.
Great. No problem. I will pink one and things will be easier. Right?
NOT SO MUCH!
I see my general doc here in town. I like her a LOT.
I see a Urologist in Little Rock. I want to see a Urologist in West Plains, MO.
Neither Urologist is covered by my insurance choices.
I see a Rheumatologist in Harrison. He’s not covered either.
One lady – VERY NICE – with the company I already have had my Part D with for 2 years – found me some other doctors but they are in Jonesboro.
Now, I do NOT travel well. At ALL. I’ve never been to Jonesboro. I am not interested in going to Jonesboro.
I am frustrated that I can not find an insurance that covers all my docs and has dental and vision benefits. You would think that someone would match up all 3 docs.
With all this frustration I can see why Senior Citizens have troubles with the whole insurance thing.
I am only 35 and can barely understand it all.
Tomorrow is Christmas eve. I have things to sew still and have not begun.
I gave up and got out of bed at 4 this AM. I was awake because I was in a LOT of pain. I took a pain pill and must have dozed in and out while in the recliner. Next thing I knew it was 6:45 and Donald was still asleep. He normally leaves around 6:30.
So I woke him up and he left for work. I went back to the bed and slept fitfully until 10.
I got up, took a shower, put on my TENS unit and took a pain pill. I still hurt. My back is killing me. I could not shave my legs because it hurt to bend like that.
I have this issue with my left hand now. Well, it started yesterday. My thumb, and 2 fingers are hurting. Like asleep but with little electrical shocks all the time. It’s also the tip of my ring finger. I tried to ignore it all day yesterday but when I picked up the hubby from work he told me to call my doc when I got home.
I did and then about 7 last night I get this phone call from my doc’s nurse. She just needed more details. She’s going to talk to the doc and call me back today.
Well, that was the plan anyway. I wouldn’t doubt it if they closed early because of the weather. My hubby came home EARLY today because there’s already been more than 50 wrecks and slide offs in Baxter County.
we butchered the hog (her name was Barbie as n Bar-B-Que) and so we have this freezer full of pork. Ok, so I am not supposed to have pork because of my bladder disease. I tried a little bite of my husbands sausage patty he fried up for himself. BAD MOVE. I thought that since we had her done locally that the sausage would just be pig. Well, it is pig and spices. It tasted really REALLY good but then it had after burn. OMG. I am soooooooo dreading the spices working their way through to my bladder. My mouth was on fire. Imagine what it will do to my bladder!!!!
Seriously, it sucks to live like this. My bladder hurting to having to watch what I eat and drink because it will hurt me.
I am SOOOO happy for a friend of mine. She’s a pain patient with RA, FM, Diabetes, CONSTANT migraines and so on and so forth. Anyway, She’s been trying to find the “right” mg of pain meds and 5mg was not working, but 10 mg was too much. So, she tried one of Emilee’s 7.5 mg and she called me this AM to say that the 7.5 mg is PERFECT in that she wasn’t falling asleep because if the 10 mg and she was in less pain than taking just a 5mg. I am SO happy for her. Now, if she can just get the right RX from her doctor…..
